A common trope of psychoanalysis refers to desire and lack: one creates the other. To put it in Buddhist terms, all suffering comes from desire. This year’s Dry January wasn’t the first time I consciously stopped drinking, but it was the first time I noticed the lack and my desire to fill it so acutely.

Not drinking felt akin to not eating gluten or sugar. A glass of wine with dinner is a part of my routine, and not just that, but a part of my body’s way of processing food. Without the acidity from a glass of wine with a bowl of pasta, and a swig of amaro or grappa after, my meals felt less satisfying. I avoided certain restaurants knowing that my resolve was just not strong enough not to order a glass of wine. I found myself wondering how to fix this problem.

So… What Can You Drink with Food During Dry January?

Not everyone has this proclivity towards alcohol and food. The world of non-alcoholic beverages has focused heavily on the mocktail as a part of bar service, which is a piece of mixology artisanship in itself that’s come a long way. I don’t drink cocktails with food very often, and I like the boozier, more simplistic ones if I am sitting at a bar.

Not drinking forced me to get experimental with what I drank and to consider how much of drinking is a social ritual, how much is a routine, and how much is simply the body’s addiction to sugar. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but I’ve gained some perspective.

A Nordic Perspective

I faced this in real time at Fet-Fisk, a New York Times and Eater-acclaimed Nordic seafood restaurant in Pittsburgh. The wine list at Fet-Fisk is whimsical and diverse, perfectly meant to pair with the menu. Rather than letting my eyes linger on the Mosel Riesling or the Austrian skin-contact Gruner Veltliner for too long, I diverted my gaze to the Norwegian Fjell, a fermented non-alcoholic botanical that Fet-Fisk’s staff discovered at Raw Wine, a natural wine convention. (How I would love to be a fly on the wall during the conversations happening going on at such a thing. Surely it would make for an amazing Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail-style gonzo journalism project).

Fjell has spruce, yarrow, and birch in it, and tasted similar to kombucha, with that fermented sour kick to it. What I found most fascinating about it was that unlike a standard non-alcoholic menu replacement, it was clearly in line with the restaurant’s curated vision. It was Nordic, from the same terroir, and it went well with seafood. In a wine glass, alongside a glass of orange wine, it looked identical, and I didn’t feel left out. It made me wonder if more restaurants should adopt this philosophy with non-alcoholic options.

Raisin, an app that helps people find biodynamic wine, shared an infographic on Instagram called “Why we’re saying ‘no’ to non-alcoholic wine.” They argue that the intervention of de-alcoholization defeats the purposes of trying to eat clean and healthy. Instead, Raisin argued that it makes more sense to look more towards fermented non-alcoholic options like Fjell or kombucha.

If you’re solely looking for the taste of alcohol, not its psychological qualities, there may be something to that. 

An Italian Perspective

My frustration around not drinking wine with food came out most with Italian or French cuisine. What else could you drink with food that feels designed to be paired with wine? I decided to find the perfect person to give curated recommendations: an Italian chef who doesn’t drink. Anthony Tomacchio runs Toma, an Italian restaurant with hearty home-style Italian meals that certainly pair well with wine, but Tomacchio himself is sober.

Tomacchio defends de-alcoholized wine. “There’s a lot of products on the market that aren’t actual wine, but more of a wine replacement. I tend to avoid those because I just don’t care for the imposter taste,” he said. He wants to honor what the food needs beside it, rather than wantonly swapping in a kombucha. “Hearty meat dishes like braised short ribs or a classic Chicken Parm deserve a robust red. A solid choice for everyday use is Noughty Rouge, a medium-bodied de-alcoholized red with notes of candied cherry, dried rose petal, and black pepper.”

He had a recommendation for a special night, too, to play into the ritual of drinking with a de-alcoholized wine.  “If I’m splurging on a nice bottle to serve alongside something special, I’ll go with Oceano Zero Pinot Noir. It’s a premium small-batch wine that really complements the rich flavors of Italian cooking.”

Funnily enough, founder Rachel Martin began Ocean Zero after doing Dry January as a wine professional and re-evaluating her relationship to drinking. “Not every moment calls for alcohol, but every moment calls for intentional choice,” she wrote on Instagram.

Staying Sober at Home

Importer Alyssa McGrath of Skurnik Wines was the first person to make me realize I was not alone or crazy in this predicament of wanting to drink with food. “When I don’t have a glass of wine with dinner, I have a lemon slice in San Pellegrino. Higher-acid wine cuts through the fat of rich things. If I’m not having a glass of wine, I need something with a little bubble and a lot of citrus,” she told me. I felt validated—there was something to drinking every day that had little to do with being a boozehound.

Like McGrath, I’ve found the simplest, most budget-friendly option for something zero-proof to drink with a meal at home is mineral water. No frills. No additives. Arguably good for you, with its copious amounts of calcium and magnesium. In place of the crisp minerality of white wine, a bottle of Gerolsteiner will cut through food. Mineral water with some kind of bitters in it and a slice of citrus is truly enjoyable to sip on.

Martin Riese, the “mineral water sommelier,” could help you out with picking the best water to pair with your meal. If nothing else, watching Riese taste water will provide some entertainment while you’re thinking about wishing you were tasting wine.

But one thing I’ve found during Dry January is that friends will be accommodating with mineral water, kombucha, and de-alcoholized wine when you’re not drinking. Not defaulting to “going out for drinks” as a way to hang out with people is good for both your social life and your wallet. It’s a worthy exercise to get to know yourself and your desires better.

Story by Emma Riva
Photo courtesy of Proxies Red Amber de-alcoholized wine, sold at The New Bar.

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