Listen up all you parents of college freshmen! We have the tips you need from college students and recent college graduates to make sure your child’s first year goes smoothly. We know it’s hard when your child leaves the nest. There are nerves and anticipation on all sides leading up to the big day. There’s the pressure of move-in day and saying goodbye. Then, finally there is the wait till family weekends and holiday breaks begin. While much is on your brain, let us take a little of the stress away with a guide to preparing for moving, move-in day itself, and what to do after your child has officially started school. Don’t worry, all of these tips are student-, college graduate-, and parent-approved, so you can take comfort in knowing that all will be okay.
Tips for Parents of College Freshmen
Preparing for the College Move
Don’t Load Up on Furniture Before Move In
We know there’s a pressure to buy everything you think you’ll need before you actually move into the space but this can lead to overpacking. Next thing you know you’re standing in a small dorm room trying to figure out how to fit a shelf, mini fridge, and desk all into one space. Instead, leave some things to get on move-in day after you’ve seen the space your child will be living in.
Let Your Child Lead the Packing
When your parental instincts take over, you’ll find yourself wanting to pack everything for your student. However, since this is the start of their independence and their transition to adulthood, try to let them take the lead in preparing for their future space. It’s great to keep a list of all the essential things, but leave the details up to them.
Discuss a Communication Style
The urge to ask for updates throughout the day is bound to happen to all caring parents. It’s important to discuss boundaries and expectations prior to your child leaving for college. Ask them if they would prefer texts or calls. Perhaps you agree to a call every week, supplemented by text updates at intervals between calls. It all depends on what you and your child are comfortable with. Remember, it’s important to give them some freedom during this time so that they can fly, but it’s still reasonable to want some communication about both the joys and the challenges they encounter.
Research Student Discounts
It may not be the first thing on your mind, but student discounts are a huge advantage of being a college student. Many businesses like Amazon, Spotify, Apple, Nike, American Eagle, and Adobe offer anywhere from 10-30 percent discounts. Some of these really pay off in the long run too if you’re having to buy a new laptop or need to renew your Spotify subscription. Outside of the big brands, many local businesses and museums will also give student discounts. It’s good to check out your university’s website for local discounts, or just ask when visiting a businesses.
Pack a Sick Kit for Your College Student
Getting sick for the first time away from home is no fun. There’s no one to take care of you, the dining hall feels way too far away, chances are there’s nowhere to get medicine, and even going to fill up a water bottle can be a lot of work. Creating a small sick kit for your college student can assure they get the love they need even across the country. You can include items like soup or ramen, cough drops, cold medicine, tissues, hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, their favorite snack, and whatever else they may need. It’s also nice to include some small notes of encouragement and reassurance.
Tips for Move-In Day
Let Your College Decide the Set Up
It’s great to give suggestions, but, for the most part, let your child choose what should go where. After all, they are the one who will be living in the space. You should help with physical things like building and moving furniture but put the items where they would like. This gives them a bit of trust that you understand they are starting a new, independent chapter.
Give Some Space
You’ll want to immediately dive into a conversation with your college student’s roommates and try to make connections, but it’s important not to force these interactions. By focusing conversation with the parents, you can give a little space for the students to connect. They will be sharing a space, not you!
Know When to Leave
Saying goodbye is really hard on move-in day. Please try to remember the goodbye is not for forever! When things start to wind down and other parents start to leave, it may be time to go yourself. It’s important to read your child and decide when the time is right. Asking is the best way to get a read on whether they are ready for you to leave or not. Chances are they’re going to want time to settle into their new environment and bond further with their roommates. They’ll be texting you before too long, so don’t worry.
Make Plans for the Next Day
Remember when we said the goodbye isn’t for forever? Even though it’s good to give space on move-in day, sticking around town for the next day is a good way to be accessible to your student. Set up a time to meet your child for brunch or lunch so you can get caught up on their new living situation and run a few last errands before you go. Your kid will without a doubt have a short list of items that were forgotten in the packing stage.
What to Do After Your Child Starts College
Get Involved in Parent Activities
Usually, after move-in day, there are opportunities for parents to be involved in orientations, parent-week activities, and much more throughout the year. Stay up to date on these events and get involved to help your student thrive. You may pick up on things your child missed, and it shows you have a real investment in their future. Sometimes it’s the small things that go a long way.
College Care Packages Are a Yes!
Secretly, every child in college wishes for their parents to send them a care package. Whether it’s just a letter with some cash inside, an actual box full of snacks and other goodies, or DoorDashing food randomly, it means more than just the contents of the package. It shows your child that you’re thinking about them and their needs in these moments. Also, don’t forget how over the top finals weeks can be: we’ve seen care packages during finals week actually make students cry tears of joy. They both a reassuring gesture and a push to keep going even at the lowest, most stressful of times.
Sending Grocery Gift Cards
Let’s face it, being a college student is hard. Classes can be demanding, extracurricular activities and clubs take up a lot of freetime, and adding a job into the equation usually makes food one of the last things on a student’s mind. Give your child a helping hand with a grocery gift card to use at a store near their dorm. Here they can get breakfast bars, snacks, heatable foods, and other items to ensure they get the nutrition they need. After a while, the dining hall gets very repetitive and eating any outside food feels like a small blessing.
Find a Balance Between Helping and Independence
At the end of the day, this is the first year of your child’s adult life. They’re going to need help. Even when they won’t admit it, they’ll need help. However, there needs to be a balance between helping too much and inviting your student to develop an effective sense of independence. Use your own experiences as a guide, but remember that they’re going to have their own unique experiences.
Take Time for Yourself
This is a reminder that it’s the first time YOU can do what you please as well! After 18 or so years of caring for your child at home every day, you can now do some of the things you enjoy best. Take this time to make the dinners you want, go on dates with your partner, start a new hobby, join a club, volunteer at an organization you admire, or just simply sleep in. It’ll make a big difference if you focus some of your newfound time and energy into self-care. Your student will most likely let you know when they need you.
Story by Kylie Thomas / Photography Courtesy of Karolina Kaboompics
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