Sure, the name sounds like a frozen dinner for two — but we don’t go to rom-coms for refinement. We go, mainly, for good looking people falling in love in good looking places. You, Me & Tuscany certainly has those ingredients.
You, Me & Tuscany Movie Review: It’s The Little Mermaid — And She’s After a Bridgerton Story
Like many a romcom protagonist, our heroine is in need of a change. Anna (Halle Bailey, best known for the title role in Disney’s live-action The Little Mermaid) has been scraping by as a house-sitter since the death of her mother. She spends a night at a bar with Matteo (Lorenzo de Moor), a handsome Italian stranger, who encourages her to follow a dream and visit Tuscany — and conspicuously mentions his magnificent, vacant villa.
Sparks don’t ignite, but she takes the encounter as a sign and immediately sets off for Tuscany. (European travel is so easy in the movies.) She makes her way to Matteo’s villa, planning to crash for a few days … only for family to discover her and accuse her of robbing the place. A wacky mix-up leads to the family believing that Anna is actually Matteo’s fiancée — and a series of credibility-straining misunderstandings leads her deeper and deeper into the subterfuge. Her cover is threatened when she develops feelings for Matteo’s impossibly hunky cousin, Michael (Regé-Jean Page of Bridgerton fame).
You’re Here for the Hot, Not the Plot
You, Me & Tuscany comes from the variety of romcom meant to provide a numbing distraction, not uproarious laughter. Fizzy as an Aperol Spritz, it is a series of pleasant people having pleasant conversations; even when conflict arises, everyone is polite and understanding. (A brief brawl between the cousins feels more like posturing than a power struggle.)
There’s nothing wrong with this type of entertainment, necessarily, but there’s not much to recommend it. The script is short on jokes — some jokes actually appear to have been added in post-production, presumably after studio notes — and the chemistry is lacking. Bailey is charming, as is the photography, but it adds up to little.
It’s a film teetering on the fine line between a pleasant, escapist watch and one not worth bothering with.
Late in the proceedings, an old Italian nonna with a cartoon accent asks Anna, “You wanna tap that ass?” That moment firmly shoves You, Me & Tuscany off of that fine line and into the bargain bin.
Meanwhile, at Home: Sharks
The premise of Thrash, a quick and violent thriller on Netflix, couldn’t be better. A hurricane hits a small South Carolina town. The storm surge floods the city, immediately destroying a tanker truck from a meatpacking plant. The tanker leaks blood into the flooded waters of the town. So, naturally: The flooded town is filled with sharks. It’s like Sharknado, but plausible (enough).
Phoebe Dynevor, Whitney Peak and Djimon Hounsou lead an ensemble cast trying to navigate shark-infested streets and kitchens; director Tommy Wirkola, of Dead Snow and Violent Night, keeps things brisk and just over-the-top enough. This is the precise type of movie that streaming should be presenting: fun, frivolous thrillers that make a sleepy evening more enjoyable.
Apple has a more star-studded new feature this week. Outcome stars Keanu Reeves as a Hollywood star trying to figure out who’s blackmailing him. The comedy, directed and co-written by Jonah Hill, also features Cameron Diaz, Matt Bomer, Laverne Cox, Roy Wood Jr. and more.
Flashback Cinema presents one of the big screen’s greatest adventures this weekend (and next Wednesday). E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial returns to select theaters; check their website to find a multiplex near you.
Story by Sean Collier
Photos Courtesy of Giulia Parmigiani / Universal Pictures
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